Opened Agonizingly Ugly Gift of Full Inbox
Telamon knows if you've got piles of unread or discarded mail in your inbox! What's inside? The box is HEAVY. You shake it... sounds like something boring, ugly, and not at all fun. When it comes up for sale, it will be a complete waste of money. This present is stupid. But wait... INSIDE YOU FIND AN AGONIZINGLY UGLY BUCKET OF DOOM! OMG THAT'S SO AWESOME!!!!!!
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